it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
