The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
