Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
