i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
