If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
