woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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