that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
