how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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