dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
