Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
