Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
