That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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