plz talk dirty to me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
