1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
