Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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