i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
