i just wanna soil my oats bro
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
