Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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