So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
