Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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