I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
