Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize