Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My bed smells like the plague
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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