i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The struggles of a small town man whore
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
