taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
