Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
