Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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