I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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