What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
