she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I puked a lego.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
