we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize