it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
