Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
