Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
