pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i need some magic done to my vagina
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
