2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm too high and old for this...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
