Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
