The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
