break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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