Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
