I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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