jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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