I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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