I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
