apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
