Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
