My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
