All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
