I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
