For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
