In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
