already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
