Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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