DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
