Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
