Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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