garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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