Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
