he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
