I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize