she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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