More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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