That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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